 |
|
|
|
|
|
| Women'sWorld - Features |
|
|
 Secrets of Opposite Sex
Many jokes, problems, and conversations revolve around the communications differences between men and women. Women are often teased for "gabbing," "nagging," and "chattering on about nothing." Men are often accused of "not listening," "not paying attention," or "dominating conversation" when conversing with a woman. These problems occur because neither gender is reading the others
nonverbal and verbal listening cues correctly.
During conversation, women tend to give nonverbal communications feedback such as nodding and smiling as well as verbal feedback like "I know what you mean" or "uh, huh" or "right...exactly" which lets the speaker know he or she is making sense. Men, on the other hand, tend to stay silent when listening and don't give much nonverbal feedback to the speaker because they are concentrating on what the speaker is saying and feel they are being polite. These differences in listening styles often cause difficulty in communications between men and women.
When a man is speaking with a woman, he often misreads the woman's listening cues to mean he should continue speaking, not that he is simply making sense and therefore men continue talking and often dominate conversation. Women, in turn, often misread the quiet listening cues of the man to mean that he is bored with the conversation or that she is not making sense. Therefore, women often cut their part of the conversation short, repeat things they already stated, or ask the man they are speaking with if he understands what is being said. This causes many men to feel that they are being nagged or that the woman is unsure of herself and what she is saying.
To help make mixed gender conversations work more smoothly, men should try to give more nonverbal or verbal listening feedback to female speakers. Men should also realize that the verbal and nonverbal listen cues given to them by the women the are speaking with mean only that the woman understands what is being said, not that the man should continue talking and dominate the conversation. Women should learn not to be concerned if the men they are talking to aren't giving the listening cues they are accustomed to. Usually, if the male listener is quite, he is listening. So, ladies, don't ask him if he understands what is being said.
Kirstin Carey is President of Orange Tree Training & Speaking Group, Inc. and is a communications expert who trains and coaches professionals to improve their communications and presentation skills. She presents fun and content-filled programs which train and educate CEO's, managers, trainers, and staff to perform more effectively in sales, marketing, customer service, and training.
Kirstin can be reached at Kcarey@ottsg.com, 610-227-5475 or online at www.Ottsg.com.
 Back to Women'sWorld
|
|
 |
|
|
|
